How to Overcome Your Fear of Eating
Hey there. :) I’m Kelly, a registered dietitian here at Sunrise Nutrition supporting folks with eating disorder recovery.
You’ve decided that you're done with chronic dieting. You’re tired of pinning your self-worth to the number on the scale, and you are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from obsessively monitoring what you eat and restricting your food intake. You are ready to move on to a different way of relating to food. Maybe you are not sure where to go from here, and maybe you’re also a little afraid, because you aren’t sure of what eating without restriction or dieting would be like.
It’s ok to be afraid, and it makes sense that you might be nervous about trying something new. If you’re looking for some support in facing your fear of eating, here is a mental appetizer to help you try this IRL. :)
Learn & Unlearn
Get curious about your fear of eating. When did it start? What messages you have been exposed to that would make eating feel scary? Do these messages make sense to you today, or is there room to challenge them? Think of times in your life, if you can remember, when eating was easy. What helped you trust yourself with food?
We are peppered with messages about eating every day. We receive messages about food and eating everywhere–at home, work, school, the gym, the grocery store, on social media, on television, at the doctor’s office–it’s difficult to avoid and it has an impact on us. Some common messages we hear are:
Thinner is better and we should all strive to “achieve” and maintain a small body size and lower weight.
Weight loss is about will power, and is as simple as fewer calories in than calories out.
You need to exercise so you can eat.
If you don’t monitor what you eat, you will lose control and gain weight.
These messages come from diet culture, and increase the risk for developing a disordered relationship with food. Here are some different ideas to consider that may help you start to question the reasoning behind your eating fears:
Bodies are different, and we’re not all destined to be one size. Health is multifactorial, and people experience health and illness at all places along the body weight spectrum. At any body size, you can engage in behaviors that promote health, such as staying hydrated and getting plenty of sleep.
What we eat and how we move are just two of many things that influence body weight. It is influenced by genetics, environment, behavior, and so much more. Weight and body composition also naturally change throughout the lifetime.
Our bodies spend energy thinking, breathing, digesting, circulating blood, processing waste, fighting infection, repairing damage, and responding to our environment. While exercise increases our dietary needs, we need to eat just to stay alive and well.
Nutrition can be one consideration that influences what we eat. We also get other forms of feedback from our bodies when we eat, like hunger and fullness, that help us know when we’ve had enough or we need more. You probably want to feel physically comfortable most of the time when you eat. If you are food secure and have access to a variety of foods, you can and likely will choose foods that help make you feel physically comfortable and satisfied. You are actually more likely to feel out of control with food when you restrict certain foods or overall intake, increasing the likelihood of restrict-binge cycles.
Gaining exposure to different messages about food and eating can be really helpful in challenging eating fears. Maintenance Phase is a great podcast for debunking common health and wellness myths.
Practice
When you have had some time to consider new information about food and eating, you might feel ready to practice eating. Think about how your fear of eating manifests. Maybe you weigh yourself obsessively, engage in body checking behaviors, log all of your food intake, exercise compulsively, or avoid fear foods. Consider starting to exchange some of these behaviors with more gentle, kind, and intuitive ways of relating to eating and your body. Take it slow and try things one at a time. Here are some examples of behaviors you can practice:
Try a meal or snack in a calm setting. This doesn’t have to be in a silent room without any distraction at all. But maybe try eating away from your desk, without checking your work email. Maybe you listen to music, eat outside or near a window, or eat with someone whose company you enjoy. Reducing stress while eating can help you better notice your body’s cues, and help you better taste and enjoy your food.
Experiment with what’s on your plate. Play with the proportions that different food groups take up. How much carb, veggie/fruit, and protein do you need to feel satisfied, energized, and comfortable? Is this a meal that needs to last you several hours until your next meal, or is this a snack that just needs to give you an extra boost before your swim? Did that meal leave you hungry 30 minutes later? Play around again and try something different next time.
If you have a goal of reducing certain behaviors, consider tapering off slowly. If you’re trying to stop tracking calories, you can try reducing the number of days you track, or reduce the total meals/snacks you track each day. If you are struggling with a fear food, try introducing it slowly in small amounts, and have your other emotional coping tools ready in your back pocket in case you need a way to manage the stress from the exposure. Reducing disordered behaviors can be difficult, and it may be helpful to engage professional support during this process.
Take it Easy
The journey to overcome your fear of eating can be tiring in itself as it can take a lot of energy to change old patterns and behaviors. Remember that there is no rush, and there is no way to fail. There may be times along this process when you feel energized to take on new challenges, and there may be times when you need a break from thinking about food. Take breaks and engage in things outside of food that bring you joy and rejuvenation.
Notice the Benefits
Imagine what eating would look and feel like if you were no longer afraid. List out examples for yourself. Maybe you would be able to say yes to a spontaneous invitation to dinner with a friend and enjoy the evening without guilt or any negative feelings. Or maybe you would have more energy to invest in your relationships, career, or hobbies because you weren’t so depleted by ruminating food fears. Notice when these moments happen and when they start to happen more frequently. How do these changes affect your life? Are they in-line with the life you want to live? Use this motivation to keep you going. Healing is difficult, and it is ready for you when you are.
For more support around overcoming your fear of eating, reach out to us by completing our Get Started form.
Kelly Wolffe, RDN, CD is a dietitian based out of Seattle, WA. She specializes in the treatment of eating disorders, disordered eating and chronic dieting and relationship with food concerns.