How do I Support Someone With an Eating Disorder?
Hi! I’m Mindy (she/her) and I am the Clinical Director here at Sunrise Nutrition. My passion is supporting folks in creating positive and sustainable relationships with food and body image.
A common question I receive from partners, spouses, parents and caregivers is: how do I support someone with an eating disorder? Whether your person is in treatment for anorexia, binge eating or bulimia, it is hard to watch them struggle. While most people can certainly lend a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on, maybe you’re looking for actionable things to do. Here’s a quick list on how you can help your loved one.
Learn about eating disorders and eating disorder treatment.
Learn about Health at Every Size and Fat Positivity. These are the major frameworks for eating disorder treatment and will inform what support looks like.
Ask your person if their treatment team has recommendations you can follow.
If you and your loved one share a residence, work together to create a recovery-oriented environment at home.
Keep food talk neutral; stay away from talking about diets, exercise and bodies. There are so many other cool subjects to talk about.
Restriction and/or fear of eating occurs mostly in the morning and daytime; check in with your person during these times and ask if they’d like company while eating.
Ask your loved one what would be helpful during mealtime. Many find comfort in distracting activities such as television, puzzles or a game.
If your person struggles with bulimia, the hour after their mealtime is the most difficult. Check in with them and ask what support looks like.
If your loved one struggles with grocery shopping, offer to go with them. A little support goes a long way. It might be helpful to make a list together.
If you’re grocery shopping for your person, buy their fear food as a single item rather than in bulk. Having just one or two of the scary things will be much more manageable than several quantities.
Bingeing typically occurs in the evenings hours; check in with your loved one. What would be the most helpful for them during these tough hours?
Eating disorders can be really isolating and can lead people to withdraw. Keep inviting your loved one to social events. It might be helpful to start first with events that don’t center around food, like a movie, crafting or game night.
Talk about stuff other than eating disorders or treatment. Even though treatment may be taking up a large part of their lives, your loved one is not their eating disorder - they are so much more than that!
Try new activities and hobbies with your person or return to ones they used to enjoy. This may be tricky if the activity contributed to their eating disorder so make sure you both check in with their treatment team before moving forward.
Check out our Supporting Adolescents in ED Treatment for Caregivers and Parents Workshop on our Academy page.
Supporting a loved one through eating disorder treatment can affect your own mental health. I always recommend that partners, spouses, parents and caregivers seek support either in the form of coaching, therapy, group or community support.
Lastly, if you or someone you know is struggling with food and body image, you know where to find us.
Mindy is a Nutritionist and Therapist based out of Seattle, where she offers nutrition counseling and mental health therapy for eating disorders, intuitive eating and body image concerns. She lives in Seattle, WA and watches lots of television.
